The Drum Rocker Wannabe.

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Wednesday, January 25, 2006

Im sorry, but i cant do this.. We've been through alot in our lives and i know neither parties are ready to throw them all away. I want so badly to be your friend - Well you are my best friend, always will whether you like it or not. I cannot let go of you. I still want to laugh with you, poke your sides while you attempt to wrestle me to the ground. You tell me that there's a time limit to your patience, that it's either now or never. Let me tell you that ive never regretted loving you.

You say im worse than before.. You dont know what is happening in my life now.. All i wanna do is forget all the unhappiness and continue to love someone better. All i wanna do is to learn how to appreciate another person and to see how he'd appreciate me. I thank you for loving me, and giving me all the support even though we're friends. That's why all the more i dont wanna let you go. You say youre suffering, and im hurting you more.. I know what i did and im sorry.. Im not the cold blooded person you said i was..

I really wish to have you back as my friend.. Youre my best friend.. Always will be..

7:42 PM

Saturday, January 21, 2006

I love it when you twirl my hair around your fingers.

Or caress my little ears.

I miss all of that.. When will we ever get to spend real quality time together again? Time and work is killing us, and somehow i feel so excluded in your life. So many things i feel like asking, but yet i wouldnt dare. How do i open up to you when you dont open up to me? Its been almost 2 months..

I feel like such a little kid not being able to stay up late. I have to be home before 12am - No life man.. Because of this, i cant go clubbing, and i cant hang out with my friends after work. Worse still, i cant even spend time with my boyfriend. Gosh.. I feel like im not even in a relationship at all.. *zZz*

I'll be dreaming of the beach. Cant wait till next month. Cant wait till i get to have a proper tan! aRr..! Alrite..

11:04 PM

Finally got my first tummy ache of the year.. Got so tired of constipation that im even happy my tummy fell sick.. I really gotta stop stuffing myself with pineapple tarts already.. Cant afford constipating anymore or my tummy would bloat even more..

Went jamming with star potatoes today.. It was fun! Played 3 originals - Two old songs and one new one. The new song rawked my ankle sawks! It was really fast paced and rawkish and i really enjoyed jamming it. Travis is a freaking talented guy to write songs like these.. I think i kinda lost my way in between the song, and my speed wasnt as constant.. But it was good coz we flowed..! Im so aching for a gig..

Didnt really sleep much these days. As a working cum studying teenager, ive began to realise that its not easy juggling between schoolwork and work(even though school's pretty slack). Im always so tempted to sleep through my alarm clock and intentionally missing school the day after work. Plus, work is draining energy outta me both mentally and physically..

Thanks for being there for me.. You know who you are. Even after what i did, youre still there protecting me.. Even though you seem to deliberately turn me off sometimes, i know you never meant them. I owe you big time and i know i can never finish repaying you. I dont know what id do without you.

My eyes are droopy already, and my body is thirsting for clean, fresh bathroom water.. My mind is crying out for rest, and i think i shall give it what it wants.

But first, i might just release another pineapple tart from its cage, into my mouth. >.<

12:56 AM

Thursday, January 19, 2006

I cant get to sleep. My bedroom ceiling seems to be closing in on me. I dont know whether ive made a friend, or an enemy..

Oh well.. It just dawned upon me tat itll be so much better if i "moved on" to being an outcast and not participate in any of your activities.. But then again, i yearn so much to mingle amongst you peeps. Although times are rough, you guys are still my friends and we have a thing in common - SPINELLI'S! I love you guys and i dont mind helping.. Just that, people make mistakes.. We have fun playing pool, goofing around and lotsa other stupid stuff.. Dont let little things ruin our friendships..

Sheeks.. Class is at ten tml and i gotta be up at 7.30 in the morning.. Gonna start having fruits and veggies for breakfast.. WeHhee.. (No offence to Xiwen, you meat lover you.. LOL) Oh wait, maybe i should skip breakfast.. =P

TIP: To anyone who wants to diet, eat lots and lots of grapefruits. Make sure you pick those pinkish colored kinds coz they're really juicy and sweet. But of course, include lotsa veggies in ur meals and substitute soft drinks for fruit juices. *SlurPs!*

Woo! All the fruit talking is making me thirsty. The narcissistic me is aching for a neoprint session! Havent taken any so far all because he says Aiyah! Dun want lar.. My hair too short.. So ugly.. Wait for it to grow first lor.. haha.. Ok, i will wait for you since i owe you one dear.. =D Im counting the days..

Alrite.. Sleeping time.. zZzz...

9:18 PM

I am so disappointed with the world. I am so disgusted by humanity. What's so fun about backstabbing people at their backs? Why such lukewarm attitudes? Just when misunderstandings happen, all our backs are turned against each other.. Where's that "team spirit" that we are suppose to instill?

I dont understand why our imperfections take control of us, and it affects the ones around us too. Working would only be a joy if we appreciate what others do for us and at the same time, have the initiative to help them back. How i wish we could all laugh, joke and be like closest friends since we are colleagues and see each other almost everyday.. How i wish that we could all sympathize with each other, make ourselves feel comfortable and not worry about whether i'd be your best friend today, and your enemy tml.

Why all the gossip? Why say things that would hurt someone else? Why cant we make things easier for our superiors because, regardless of their positions, they're our friends too.

Humanity.. How would humanity define love? We're all of the same species.. So why is there a need to create war? People fall in love, and indeed it is a beautiful thing. But how do we keep this love alive and burning? We are in love, but time is like a barrier that could extingiush that burning flame. I love hearing your voice. I love seeing your smile. But then again, i hardly get to see you display them. You would say, Urgh! Work is tiring.. She doesnt listen to me, he doesnt help me.. and you think im not listening. But truth be told, it aches inside and it aches even more when i realise i couldnt do anything to help you.

I could write poems and songs. Sing them out loud like nobody cares.. But would anybody want to hear them?
Maybe.

Maybe not.

At least my creativities satisfy me and i smile when i write about you.

I will be trying my best to keep this smile on our faces. Always telling myself that positivity will keep that flame burning. Open up to me so i know that you really want this to work. When i say "I LOVE YOU", would you smile? When i say i meant it, would you smile even more? It is not easy to love because all of us are afraid of rejections. I am afraid to take that step too.. Humanity. To me, It's STRANGELY BEAUTIFUL.

5:19 PM

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

7:42 PM
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Saturday, January 21, 2006

11:04 PM
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12:56 AM
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Thursday, January 19, 2006

9:18 PM
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5:19 PM
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